Funniest Bumper Stickers Out!!!

The Funniest Bumper Stickers EVER!

We all love reading those funny stickers that people place on their bumpers. Not only do they entertain us, but they actually do bring life into perspective. The following list details 50 of the funniest bumper stickers ever! Whether you want a good laugh, or simply want to tick off other people, these can prove to be especially helpful!


1. “The good thing about schizophrenia is you never run out of people to talk to.”

2. “Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them”

3. “Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege”

4. “Don’t steal. The government hates competition.”

5. “Gun Control means using BOTH HANDS”

6. “Born Free But I’m Higher Priced Now”

7. “Even though this is a stupid sticker you’re squinting to read it”

8. “I don’t SUFFER from insanity; I enjoy EVERY MINUTE of it!”

9. “If you can’t live without me, how come you’re not dead?”

10. “Women love exclamation points!!! (But they HATE periods)”

11. “I’m NOT mooning you – I’m turning the other cheek!”

12. “Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken!”

13. “Out of my mind. (Be Back in 5 Minutes)”

14. “I had a life, but my job ate it”

15. “If you’re close enough to read this, you just violated your restraining order”

16. “Don’t worry what people think, they don’t do it very often”.

17. “Cows come and go, but BULL lasts forever”

18. “I don’t discriminate, I hate everybody!”

19. “Laugh at your problems, everyone else does”

20. “Like what you see? Dial 1-800-YOU-WISH”

21. “My attitude...YOUR PROBLEM!”

22. “My road to success is under construction”

23. I’m having an out-of-money experience”

24. “If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my DOG!”

25. “It’s called tourist season – so, why can’t we shoot ‘em?”

26. “Attention Employees! The beatings will continue until morale improves”.

27. “BACK OFF! I’m a Postal Worker”

28. “Do I mind of you smoke? Do YOU mind if I fart?”

29. “Women are great leaders – you’re following one now”

30. “God created man first: You need a rough draft before a Masterpiece”

31. “Wife and Dog Missing: Reward for Dog”

32. “Marriage is Grand. Divorce is 100 Grand”

33. “I’m the boss. My wife said I could be”

34. “The 10 Commandments are NOT multiple choice”

35. “Stop Repeat Offenders, DON’T RE-ELECT THEM!”

36. “Guns don’t kill people, drivers with cell phones do!”

37. “Keep Honking, I’m Reloading”

38. “Driver carries NO cash – He’s Married!”

39. “Got chocolate?”

40. “I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining food!”

41. “Road Rage Next 10 Miles”

42. “Your Kid’s an honor student, but you’re a moron!”

43. “I don’t need kids, I married one!”

44. “Embarrassing my children is a full-time occupation!”

45. “I child-proofed my house, but they STILL get in!”

46. “You don’t work full time till you’re a mom!”

47. “Can you fix my husband? He says he’s broke!”

48. “Be nice to America or we’ll bring democracy to your country!”

49. “Give me coffee, and no one gets hurt”

50. “I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person!”